Does fullfillment come from men and children?

There is an interesting article debate over at Huffington Post. It’s worth the read, by the way!

The first article, by the founder of thestateof.com said that fullfillment most definitely comes from men and children for women. Some highlights…

Feminism has destabilized society by undermining heterosexuality and the family. This perverse assault on gender difference is disguised as an act of “defense” of women’s’ and homosexuals’ “right” to be single and childless. Women have been duped into seeking “power” and “independence” (aloneness) through climbing the mirage of the corporate ladder. What women really want is power expressed as male love.

Without a child to care for, a woman often becomes frustrated, bitter and distracted. She often uses the “success” of her “career” (which is simply a glorified word for “job”) as a replacement for the void of the missing child.

Ok, some of my points now. First of all, do women and homosexuals not have a right to remain childless or single? No law is saying that anyone is obliged to have children or be in a couple, married or cohabiting. And guess what? “Independence” is not aloneness. It’s being able to not have to depend on another person, which a life skill that everyone should have. At times, we are able, or can choose to rely on people, because it would be hell if we couldn’t, but being independent does not mean “aloneness”. Oh, and that power expressed as male love? Give me a break. Sure, we’d all love some love, but that’s not the only thing that we can have for fullfillment!

Also…some women honestly do not want child and are completely happy with their pure careers. There is nothing wrong with this. Some women are not nurturers. For example, my father was and is the nuturer, or “mother role”, in the family, although currently he does make more money. While my mother is much more cold and distant, and takes much pride in her career choices. In the end, my father would be more devastated if he didn’t have a child than my mother. Why are people so keen to generalize women and men into one category?

The other article, by Rebecca Thorman, takes the other side of the argument.

Whether we check off men, children, career, or all of the above, the fact is that we have a choice, and what fulfills and limits us is not created by society and media, but increasingly our own desires.

The kind of woman who is a compassionate alpha. The Generation Y woman has leadership and strength, and promotes community and empathy. We don’t dismiss motherhood, but embrace our strengths and use those to change the workplace, reaping from it a greater sense of fulfillment than ever before. It is not a coincidence that at a time when power-hungry hierarchies are being broken down, women are leading and infiltrating the workplace. It is our skills and talents that have created such an influential shift.

I’ll just say that I obviously agree with the second article more. And just for the record, I do want some male lovin’, some kids, but I’m not going to give up my career for having that. Obvious sacrifice have to be made by both men and women when children come into the picture, and those sacrifices are individual choices and worked out in a personal setting. No overgeneralizing should still be occurring!

Random rant!

Alright, everytime I go to check my Facebook, I see this “Facebook Flyer” promoting cosmetic surgery. The picture is of a really, really skinny girl with big boobs and blonde hair. I am sick of this ad! I mean, children and young teens have Facebook! Why are you bombarding them with cosmetic surgery?! We know that is it becoming increasing popular for younger women and men, although the aim is always women. Because you know, we aren’t good enough the way we are. Our boobs are big enough, our lips aren’t big enough, our tummy is too big and our nose has a bump. And the younger the people you send this message to, they’ll simply belief it, then give into cosmetic surgery, spending oodles of money and feeding the cosmetic capitalist system.

Done rant.

Second generation daughters prospering…kinda, not really

Accoring to Statistics Canada, daughters of immigrants are more likely to prosper than sons of immigrants. And they are even earning more than daughters of Canadian-born parents.

Taking education levels into account, Dr. Palameta found that young women with two immigrant parents earned wages about 15 per cent higher than did young women with Canadian-born parents.

But…

Jeffrey Reitz, an immigration expert and professor of sociology at the University of Toronto, cautions against thinking second-generation women are doing particularly well, though.

He says most analyses of minority women show greater gains in earning because these women are compared with a broader group of other women, who still experience lower wages and salaries than men.

But for men, the comparison is with “mainstream men who are the best paid people in the work force – they’re the ones monopolizing all the best jobs.”

When I was reading the beginning of the article, I was thinking “Yeah, I’m not surpried. My university is a white minority and many, many of population are 2nd generation Canadians”. But then reading on made me realize that women are still not prospering, because this study didn’t even compare against men’s income and job status. Ridiculous. It’s definitely a deceptive study. When people will see this, they’ll thing “Oh great! This is more equality for women!”, when really, there’s no equality here. Women are still making comparatively less than men…and this is one reason why feminism still has to exist. Sad.

I think I’m an “Over-analysing, funny, man-hater!”

This “news” comes all the way from Sydney. Supposedly, according to the Sydney Morning Herald, women are getting “scary” because they are so concerned with men vanishing into thin air that they need to “nab a man”. But not all men have taken to this “newfound aggressiveness that women have taken on”. The article then goes on to describe five types of “scary women”. And for sake of hilarity, trying to half-ignore the misogyny going on here, part of the descriptions are as follows:

The One Who Asks Men Out

Most men say they love it when they get asked out by a woman, but try getting asked out every single week and it’s enough to make their skin crawl. “I like to do the chasing,” is the common cry of the gents.

How am I not surprised that the men like doing the chasing?

The Over-Analyser

Ever noticed that some women over-analyse every single thing that men do? “Why didn’t he call?” “What did he really meant by that text message?” “Does that phone call from his ex while we were at dinner together really means he’s still sleeping with her?” Argh! No wonder the poor gents are fed up.

The Drama Queen

Instead of falling at her feet (she is absolutely gorgeous), it seems they prefer a more low-maintenance kind of gal, and want nothing to do with her crazy world. After all, they know dating a drama queen isn’t easy. It’s their way or the high-way.

The Funny Woman

Then there’s the gal who can make a crowd of punters laugh. According to an article in the Independent on Sunday in the UK, research reported in the scientific journal Evolution and Human Behaviour, recently revealed that funny women are a turn-off for men.

Seriously? Women can’t be funny now? Men always have to have the sense of humour? Give me a break and suck it up guys!

Finally…my favourite one!

The Man-hater

She abhors blokes, tries to catch them out when they are genuinely being friendly, and prefers to bitch about men with her feminist group than prowl the town in search of one. And the reason men don’t like her? She dates just like a man …

I really have no words. That was just…wow. I love how this article can seemingly generalize the whole population of women into five types of “scary women”. I guess we’re all in there somewhere!

I’m sick of this!

There was some controversy over this earlier this year, but it seems that we had gotten around it. Now, the Conservative Party, led by Bush-wannabe Stephan Harper, has put forth a legislation that would require Muslim women to unveil to show their “real” identity.

If adopted, the new law could be enforced by Elections Canada staff taking voters to separate rooms to show their faces before voting.

I call bullshit. Piles and piles of bullshit. This legislation is supposed to help prevent voter fraud…but, are there any cases of voter fraud occurring that is correlated with Muslim women and their veils? Um, I don’t think so. And when did this become such a big issue anyway? There weren’t any huge stories of voter fraud from awhile ago, not that I can remember anyway.

My personal feeling about this is that the government should respect a Muslim woman wearing a veil and not make them take it off to vote. This is a part of their religion and culture and the government shouldn’t be tampering with it! I know we in the West have our own ideas about the veil, but the majority of Muslim women see it as a way out of oppression, not the other way around.

Hm. That’s an idea.

I know same sex education is a sticky thihng for many feminist and ideologies about it are pretty much across the board, but I think this might actually be a good, at least interesting, idea.

Woodbridge Middle School, located in Woodbridge, Virgina, has brought on same-sex classes, while still remaining a very co-ed school. Parents have the option of putting their child in that same-sex class, or they can continue to have their children in the co-ed classes. But for classes such as art or music, it’s still co-ed for everyone.

This year, about 180 sixth-grade students at Woodbridge are enrolled in all-girl or all-boy classes this year for the core subjects of math, language arts, science and social studies. Classes in art, music, physical education and other subjects are still co-ed. And about 120 sixth-graders are in the more traditional co-ed classes for all of their subjects.

The teachers state that the majority of feedback is positive and plan on doing it for the next year as well.

Personally, I think this is a great option. I would love to see more and more public schools doing this, because I think the co-ed environment is good and important, but we all know learning styles are different and there’s less distraction in the classroom if it’s just one sex, instead of two. As well, I imagine girls would feel less intimidated and participate more. But I know that many may disagree with me, so feel free!

Currently, there are 363 public schools in the United States that offer same-sex classes.

1 in 3 gay men are abused

Domestic violence, especially against women, is well known (by the way, it’s still Domestic Violence Awareness Month!), but thinking about it in terms of a same sex couple, here specifically a gay couple, is not exactly in our minds yet.

Well, a new study from the University of Illionois at Chicago show that 1 in 3 gay men in relationships are either verbally abused, physically abused or sexually abused. And it can be seen that there are correlations between women abuse and this abuse.

As with women, poorly educated and low-income men were more likely to be victims. However, minorities did not show higher rates of abuse. Like women, men who were depressed, mentally ill or abusing drugs were far more likely to be victims. And victims were more likely to engage in unprotected sex.

The only problem is, as the article points out, is that there are few places that men can turn to for help. There are women’s shelters and people are more likely to believe that they’re being abused, while gay men don’t have those outlets. Same sex couples are still not considered the societal “norm”, therefore making them easily ignorable.

Online community becoming more unsafe?

Wow. I was completely shocked when I read this newstory.

A woman who was inquiring about a nanny job, through Craiglist, was found dead in her trunk late Friday.

The police think that a 19-year old “man” from Savage, Minnisota placed the ad. And they have him in custody. This is just…sick. Place a nanny ad and then kill the woman? Messed up. Plus, she couldn’t have known to have much caution, as she had already taken two nanny jobs through online ads.

Is the online community going to continue to get more unsafe? Is there going to be more surveillance? Will this be one big excuse to get government organizations watching our every move?

I can’t help myself!

Where have we seen this before…?

This is pretty cool.

The first lady in Argentina will most likely win the presidency. Cristina Fernandez de Kirchner is currently the wife of President Nestor Kirchner, who stepped aside so that she could run. Sure, there might be political reasons behind it, as the article states that they might like the idea of “holding power for as many as four consecutive four-year terms.” But I’ll take it. She’s been a Senator for three-terms, so it definitely seems like this couple has been running the country! I sense some equality, which is fantastic. And it’s also great to know that the Argentine people are ready for their 2nd woman president!

“Gendercide”

Marcy Bloom has written an excellent piece on the “honour killings” that occur throughout the world.

In the eyes of the communities where these murders occur, it is not only expected, but actually required, of male family member to kill their female family member, usually a wife, sister, or daughter.

Sick, right? It’s pretty freaking deranged.

The regime of honor is unforgiving: women on whom even only suspicion has fallen are not given any opportunity to defend themselves, and family members have no socially acceptable alternative but to remove the stain on their honor by attacking, brutalizing, mutilating, and, usually, killing the woman.

I’ve heard so much about these “honour killings” before, and now some people are calling it “gendercide”, which is essentially what it is. The killing of one specific gender. If a man had an affair…he wouldn’t get killed, but if a woman does it, kill her! It just makes so much sense, right? It’s a sick, sick thing and more attention needs to be paid attention to it and justice needs to be brought.

UNIFEM. Women. Poverty.

This is kind of a few weeks old, but I didn’t hear about it until now!

UNIFEM (the UNs women fund) is calling for a focus on women to end global poverty. They definitely make some good points…

The UNIFEM-Women’s Funding Network collaboration is in response to increasing evidence that women hold critical — yet often untapped — potential in helping to improve the economic prospects of communities and societies as a whole.

It makes sense that women can improve the economy, considering they are human beings and can work for a living, just like men. Yes, it is possible! And of course, a higher percentage of women are in poverty, compared to men.

For women, poverty means not only lack of income but lack of control over that income, as well as lack of autonomy, dignity, and leisure. Among the factors that place women at risk of poverty are their unequal access to resources and capabilities, such as education, skills, land and property, the discrimination they face in the labour market and their lack of political voice. In all countries, women do most of the unpaid household and care work — yet this work is not counted as contributing to national economies.

Seeing more equal opportunities in all countries will be a great thing. But I even feel oppression here in a first world country, Canada, and I don’t know if other countries will be able to give as many equal opportunities to women. Yes, I’m pessimistic. I can’t help it. To get there, we’re definitely going to have to work hard and kick some ass along the way.

Lots of news!

Two women were abducted from a mall and then raped, in Burton, Michigan.

Sexual violence has reached a “hideous” point in countries recovering from conflict, according to the U.N.

Abortion laws in Britain are on the verge of a change!

Remember, women will get abortions. Legal or not.

This is disgusting. Urinating on a dead woman?

A homeless man in Vancouver gets the life sentence for the senseless murdering a 39-year old woman.

Let’s count how many unwanted conceptions will happen!

I got an nice little email from Planned Parenthood in my inbox today, telling me how the “anti-choice fringe” is urging the Congress to suspend $300 million in funds until the Kansas and Mid-Missouri P.P. cases are settled.

Are you freaking kidding me? Sure! Let’s take away all this funding while women for the most part just want some birth control! Why are anti-choice groups so against birth control (and in turn, women)? If they don’t want abortions to happen, then they should step up and promote birth control, instead of condemn it. They are completely unreasonable and illogical.

Some more information from feminist.org:

The charges against the Kansas and Mid-Missouri Planned Parenthood were filed by Johnson County district attorney Phill Kline, the former Kansas Attorney General and extreme anti-abortion rights foe. On October 17th he filed 23 felony counts of providing false information and 84 misdemeanor counts of failure to maintain records, failure to determine viability for a late-term abortion, and unlawful late-term abortion. A conviction on all counts would cost the clinic more than $2.5 million in potential fines.

Uhm hmm…I’m sure this is all true. If you’d like to help, check out the Planned Parenthood website and donate some money, since they have to fight 107 charges. This is pretty huge. If you feel you can support them, please do so!

My Feminist Blog

Welcome to my little feminist blog, which I hope to turn into quite the production one day. I don’t have anything enchanting to write about right now, but no doubt I will later.

If you’re a feminist, or if you’re interested in feminism or…you don’t know what hell it is, check back here once in awhile to see what’s happening!