Archive
A positive personal testimony of having an abortion
It’s always nice to come across these, not just because I’m pro-choice or think it’s just fine for women to have abortions, but because we’re constantly bombarded with horror stories of abortions and how it ruins women’s lives. Maria Elizabeth Rubio, of InTheFray, shares her story of having an abortion and how she knew it was the right decision.
I found out I was pregnant and knew immediately that I wasn’t yet ready to become a mom. I didn’t have to think very long or hard about it; I knew that, given who I was at the time, I simply did not want to give birth to a child.
Look at that, a women who knows herself and knows what decision she needs to make, despite our society not being trustful of the capabilities that women have in decision-making when it comes to their bodies and their lives.
I thought a lot about my decision, about the morality behind taking the potential life of a human being…I wanted so much out of life, and I didn’t want the complications of pregnancy or motherhood to deter any of my aspirations from becoming realities…I thought about becoming a mom, and the more I thought about it, the more I knew that it just wasn’t for me.
She then talks of her experience going through with the abortion and how everyone at the clinic was great. She was completely put under for her abortion, and she tells of her feelings after:
The moment I opened my eyes, a wave of serenity washed over me. I felt giddy, euphoric, completely at ease. I knew I was no longer pregnant, and I was certain in that moment of tranquility that I had made the right decision.
Now, she doesn’t make it all sunshine and roses, even though her personal experience was good. She talks about another woman who had an abortion the same day and was weeping after her procedure. Obviously, abortion is something that can affect everyone differently. She doesn’t shy away from that aspect. But as for her, she didn’t feel upset.
Later on in life, she did decide to become a mother. Throughout having a child, she tells of “dreams permeated by thoughts of my aborted would-be child.” However, she states that her “What if’s” about her unborn baby are short-lived and superficial.
Thanks, Maria. It’s so refreshing to hear a positive abortion experience!
How’s your husband’s disposition?
Holidays
Hey Being Feminists readers! I just wanted to let you know that I’m going to be taking a small, holiday break from posting, probably until the 28th, unless something that totally must be blogged happens.
I hope everyone has great holidays, whatever those holidays may be!
The Broadsheet gives their top 5 sexist iPhone apps!
The Broadsheet has graciously taken a gander at all the sexist iPhone apps and have got it down to the top 5! Here’s the list:
It “allows you to quickly track the approximate time each woman in your life has PMS” using a color-coded method that functions much like the U.S. government’s terror alert system.
This app allows you to manipulate an image of a woman’s butt — or, as the official app description calls it, “BOOTY!” — by physically shaking your phone.
“Get these hot girls to spin around a stripper pole by shaking your iPhone/iPod touch from side to side! Even better, clap, yell, make some noise and they will spin around at your command.”
She’s your brand “new virtual girlfriend” and “can be who you want her to be.” You can take Michelle “to the beach or pool and choose which bikini or bathing suit she should wear.”
iControl Her is an actual remote that appears on the iPhone screen, with such clever buttons as “Stop Whining,” “Clean” and “Give Me Beer.”
Do you agree with these? Are there even more sexist iPhone apps?
Sarah Haskins on lessons for women in 2009
Another great Target Women!
An abortion compromise made for health care reform
I have neglected to post anything about the abortion debates/Stupak-Pitts/health care reform before this, because I just felt that others could explain things much better than myself, as I’m Canadian and don’t completely understand all the ins and outs of the American political system. However, I can’t neglect this anymore. As most of you may know by now, there is now an abortion compromise being proposed for the hopeful passing of the health care reform, just for that one damn vote from Sen. Ben Nelson, D-Neb.. Pretty much, most women are still getting screwed out of abortion coverage. Shit. Here’s how it goes:
No health plan would be required to offer coverage for the procedure. In plans that do cover abortion, beneficiaries would have to pay for it separately, and those funds would have to be kept in a separate account from taxpayer money.
Moreover, individual states would be able to prohibit abortion coverage in plans offered through the exchange, after but passing specific legislation to that effect. The only exceptions would be those allowed under current federal law.
So, what I’m hearing from this is that women are still getting screwed. Women should not have to pay a separate check for abortion coverage. That’s the most ridiculous thing ever. Seriously. Abortions should be considered a medically necessary procedure for those who need or want them (similar to how they are labeled in Canada), and there should be equal access across the board, for all women. The access thing is absolutely more difficult, but the first step is to allow abortions into the health care reform without any separation. This seriously just boils my blood. It’s ridiculous.
So how are other people responding to this? NARAL gives their take and states,
“At every turn, our standard has been consistent and clear: Women should not lose ground in the new health-care system…the language regarding abortion coverage comes at too high a price for reproductive health. Thus, we must oppose this new Nelson language.”
Rep. Lois Capps, D-Calif., says that she’s “disappointed that women’s access to full reproductive health care is again paying the price.”
Planned Parenthood gives their thoughts:
There is no sound policy reason to require women to pay separately for their abortion coverage other than to try to shame them and draw attention to the abortion coverage. Moreover, it is highly unlikely that insurance companies will be willing to follow such an administratively cumbersome system, leaving tens of millions of women without abortion coverage.
No doubt, there will be more news about this and more to say about it in the coming days and weeks. Right now, I have to say that this is not good enough, and some fighting still needs to be done, especially since people who support Stupak-Pitts aren’t going to go down without a fight.
Update: After I wrote this post, we now have found out that the Senate has voted yes (60-40) on the first health care reform vote.
Douchebag quote of the day!
This is taken from an article about the new possibility of the male birth control pill.
“It is time for men to have some control. I think it would empower men and deter some women out there from their nefarious plans,” says Brown. “Some women are out there to use men to get pregnant. This could deter women from doing this. An athlete or a singer is someone who could be a target and they could put a stop to that.”
Wow. Thanks for that Quentin Brown.
Small rant about the Tiger Woods thing
Unless you’ve been living under a rock (which I wouldn’t necessarily blame you for), you know about Tiger Woods and his million affairs (fine, at least 14) that he’s had over the past few years. But really, he’s just getting such gracious treatment from most media outlets and people. Sure, his popularity has taken a plunge and he’s lost some sponsors, but everytime I hear something about Tiger, it’s never nasty or callous. In fact, Rudy Guliani has just come out and said that Tiger needs to “hang in there” and that he’s a “very, very fine man” and that “we know he’s going to get through it.” Um, sorry, I didn’t realize that he was the one that was going through all the pain and suffering when he really should have understood the consequences of having affairs with at least 14 women!
I mean, that’s just one example. I know a lot of people have seen the SNL skit that portrayed Tiger Woods and his wife, Elin Nordengren. I mean, the domestic violence thing just wasn’t funny at all – even if it was from Elin to Tiger, but what I noticed was that they made Tiger such a sympathetic character. While watching, you were supposed to feel sorry for Tiger because Elin was some crazy bitch who obviously made him have the affairs. It was bad and I was personally not impressed.
So here’s the kicker. Would a woman in the public eye be portrayed in this way in the media if she had 14 affairs on her husband? She absolutely would not! She would not be the sympathetic character, but her husband definitely would be. She would be called a whore, slut, ho and bitch. She might have to fight harder to keep her career, depending on what that was (because we all know that Tiger is going to walk back into golf and people will be soooooo happy). I mean, I just think it’s obvious that a woman would have a harder time. No would would give her the time of day and no one would be gracious to her, or allow her to graciously explain what happened. Yet, Tiger, with his at least 14 affairs, has been able to.
Now, I’m not saying that it’s all good stuff about him in the media, but it’s not nearly as bad as it necessarily should be. But, he’s a man. Since he’s a man, he has the freedom to do more wrongs and will be graciously forgiven. Women on the other hand…no chance in hell.
Being male in the writing realm equates to more success
James Chartrand, of Copyblogger and Mens with Pens, is coming out. As the true woman that she is. James Chartrand, which is a pen name, explains the struggle she was having before she got into the online writing biz. She tells of how she is a single mother, who was on the brink of having to go on welfare and not being able to feed her two daughters. She decided to look online for writing jobs, as she knew she could write well and do it from home. She did this for a good while, under her real name, but it just wasn’t cutting it. She explains that before she took up a male’s pen name, that she would be struggling to get jobs, as well as not receiving the pay she knew some other people were getting. She then decided that she was going to make a pen name for herself, something that would “command respect”. She chose James Chartrand.
Once she did this, she got more jobs. She got more pay. She got compliments. She didn’t have to do many revisions. She states,
Understand, I hadn’t advertised more effectively or used social media — I hadn’t figured that part out yet. I was applying in the same places. I was using the same methods. Even the work was the same.
The exact same work. It was equal by all means, yet, because she now had James as a pen name, everything was better and easier. She explains the positives here:
Taking a man’s name opened up a new world. It helped me earn double and triple the income of my true name, with the same work and service.
No hassles. Higher acceptance. And gratifying respect for my talents and round-the-clock work ethic.
Business opportunities fell into my lap. People asked for my advice, and they thanked me for it, too.
Astounding. If that’s not a slap in the face for women writers, and women in general, I don’t know what is. Most professional women just want to work. They want respect for what they do, because they love what they do and they work hard at it. But still, just because we have vagina’s, we apparently aren’t as good as men. We aren’t as respected. We’re ignored. We’re sexually harassed. We’re discriminated against. Just because we have vagina’s. Really? Does a difference in genitals really make a difference? The clear answer is no, but still today, it is an issue. James talks about this, as she mentions that women writers have been doing this for ages, however, she states that,
Since then, we’ve had feminism. We have the right to vote, to own property, to be members of Parliament and Congress, to get a job, and to be the main breadwinner of the family. And yet apparently we haven’t gotten past those 19th century stigmas.
No, we haven’t gotten past the 19th century stigmas. That’s why feminism still exists today. We need it, and James Chartrand has once again proved that.
Click here to read her post called Why James Chartrand Wears Women’s Underpants, which tells her whole story.
Toyota Yaris commercial pulled in Australia
This Toyota Yaris commercial has been pulled off the air in Australia, because of complaints about sexism and possible slight incest.
Yeah, it’s a little much. And kind of gross and verbally objectifying. Also, everything was being said as if he was going to do it to her, not necessarily with her. Glad it’s off the air!
Thoughts?
Sexism in America: Too normal?
So, yes, of course…sexism in America/North America is definitely normal, and feminists see this and that’s why feminism remains as a movement. However, according to Barbara Berg, a historian and new author of Sexism in America: Alive, Well, and Ruining our Future, says that it’s becoming too normal and that the condition that America is in right now in terms of women’s rights could very well be worse than ever before. Berg surveyed over 200 women, and interviewed 200 more for her recent findings.
The Toronto Star was able to have an interview with her, and I just wanted to point out a few excerpts:
Many of the ways that women go about their lives and men go about their lives are based on premises such as we had seen in the 1950s. A sense of difference over who had power.
Numerous women told me that would not challenge the authority of a male boss, that they were happy to have their jobs, that they felt that they had to accept – and this is very disturbing – a certain amount of sexual harassment, that they did not expect the same kind of promotions, that they were accepting the 70 cents to the dollar gender wage gap. (emphasis mine)
This information is quite disturbing, but not necessarily surprising to someone who really knows what’s happening within the realm of gender relations and gender inequality. Berg goes onto state that this has happened because “there has been a tremendous sense of acceptance of a hierarchical and patriarchal society again” (emphasis mine). And of course, this is utterly disappointing. Because we live in an apparent “post-feminist” society, people are so damn blinded to what is really going on.
Berg ends off the interview with some positivity, by saying that there are so many things that women can do to change this kind of attitude. She states,
Women also have tremendous power as consumers. Don’t buy Bratz Dolls. Don’t buy hypersexualized Halloween costumes. Don’t go to movies that brutalize or demean women. Choose women authors. Make sure that women’s history in the curriculum of your daughter’s school. Lobby your government. Run for office.
It’s a great, great interview. I didn’t even really cover even just a bit of it, so please head on over to the Toronto Star and read this amazing interview! She talks about everything from pop culture, to reproductive rights. Berg really has some great insights on what’s going on in our culture today and why it’s going on.
Houston, TX elects an open lesbian mayor!
Go, Houston! Annise Parker is going to be the new mayor of Houston as of January 1st, and is an out lesbian.
Parker has never made her sexuality to be a secret, and “it became the focus of the election race after anti-gay activists and conservative religious groups endorsed Locke and sent out mailers condemning Parker’s “homosexual behavior.” Ick. Luckily, these efforts didn’t change the ultimate support that Parker had.
This is one great win for the LGBTQ community in Houston, but also the rest of the country. Awesome!
Apology!
Hey Being Feminist readers! I just want to give a big apology for not updating as much as usually do! This past week I was sick and had two exams…so you can imagine the lack of time I had!
I’m now done all my school for the holidays, so I will get back to normal posting on Monday!
Uganda’s Anti-Homosexuality Bill
I cannot even express in words how much shock and anger came upon me when I heard about this extremely disgusting, homophobic bill proposal. RH Reality Check explains,
The bill proposes a seven-year jail term for anyone who “attempts to commit the offence” or who “aids, abets, counsels or procures another to engage in acts of homosexuality.” Under the proposed law, “promotion of homosexuality,” including publishing information or providing funds, premises for activities, or other resources, is also punishable by a seven-year sentence or a fine of US$50,000. The bill seeks to apply the death penalty handed down for the crime of “aggravated homosexuality,” defined as a sexual assault committed against a member of the same sex who is under 18 or disabled. An HIV test would be forced upon anyone found guilt of the offense of “homosexuality.”
No one in their right mind would think this would pass, correct? Well, many gay rights activists in Uganda are saying that this is something that most likely will pass. David Cato, a gay rights activist in Uganda, says that there has been more of a gay rights movement in Uganda lately, which means that these laws are being put into place.
“It’s a question of visibility,” said David Cato, who became an activist after he was beaten up four times, arrested twice, fired from his teaching job and outed in the press because he is gay. “When we come out and ask for our rights, they pass laws against us.”
I for one sincerely hope that this bill does not get passed. There is a lot of international pressure on Uganda right now because of this bill, but only time will tell if this pressure will influence Uganda in any way.
Food for thought!
I have been so busy, and will remain busy all weekend until Monday, which means I can’t post! So instead, I’m putting up lots of interesting links for you to go to and mull over! Hope everyone has a great weekend!
Can women learn something from the gay rights movement?
Hm. Surprise, surprise. Rush Limbaugh thinks that people in poverty “don’t deserve healthcare”. You make me sick, Rush. Sick.
One story about a family’s difficult decision to have an abortion, while being a part of the Catholic Church. (They went to Dr. Tiller’s, by the way – there are some great things said about him.)
The Women’s Health Amendment was passed!
Operation Rescue (“pro-life” activist group) have a new target in Dr. Leroy Carhart.
Rosie the Riveter High, in Long Beach, CA is making some serious efforts to teach their female students the trades.
Finally, this Sunday, December 6th, marks the 20th anniversary of the Montreal Massacre, where the men were told to leave the room, while 14 women were murdered, just because they were women. Read the basic facts here.
Oh, New York…why not legalize same-sex marriage?
This came to be rather shocking for me. I guess I always figured that New York would be one of those states that would legalize same-sex marriage. I was, however, wrong.
Today, the Senate voted down a bill that would legalize same-sex marriage, with the vote of 38-24. Eek. We can’t forget that there are 30 Republicans and 32 Democrats in the New York State Senate, so that could have something to with it as well. But clearly, some of those Dems voted against this bill to be passed.
The Catholic Church is of course rejoicing, and I am continuing to find more reasons to dislike this institution so much. However, it is so refreshing to hear what Senator Eric Adams, a Brooklyn Democrat, who considers himself to be a man of faith, said: “When I walk through these doors, my Bible stays out,”. That is music to my ears. Absolute music to my ears. He gets it. So many religious people think that they need to bring their personal religious beliefs into government and law, but in fact, it’s the other way around. As a pastor’s kid and person who is still practicing my faith, this is something that I have discovered slowly, but surely. Now, if only more people of faith (or here, I could probably use the more staunch “religious” term) could see this, understand this and demonstrate it in their own lives.
Meredith Baxter, of ‘Family Ties’, comes out
The 62 year old Meredith Baxter revealed this morning on Today, that she is a lesbian. She said that this is a later in life realization, which she only truly recognized when she started dating a woman seven years ago.
“I got involved with someone I never expected to get involved with, and it was that kind of awakening,” she said. “I never fought it because it was like, oh, I understand why I had the issues I had early in life. I had a great deal of difficulty connecting with men in relationships.”
She has now been with her partner, Nancy Locke, for four years. She decided to come out, even though she said that she lives a very private life, because she didn’t want her partner to be pushed “back into secrecy”. She said they live their lives out daily in a comfortable way in Los Angeles.
Click here to read more.
A White-Saviour movie: The Blind Side
I really couldn’t resist putting that picture up instead of the movie poster…I think it just makes my point come across better!
So anyway, by now, if you watch any TV, you have probably seen the advertisements for The Blind Side. I rarely watch TV and I have seen it a million times over. At first, I thought it looked like this wonderful, heartwarming, based on a true story type movie. However, the more I saw the previews for it, the more worried I got about this movie. I haven’t seen this movie, so I can’t speak on everything…but it just kind of irks me the wrong way.
I definitely have racial issues with this movie. I know it’s based on a true story, but I don’t really care. The fact remains that someone thought that this particular story was compelling enough to re-tell. But why was it compelling to re-tell? I absolutely have no doubt that this reason has to do with the fact that a white family is “saving” an African-American teenage boy. People think that this kind of shit is great. They eat this up. Because, “Ohhhh…that poor Black child! We need to help them! They can’t do anything themselves! There’s no hope for them! Our white privilege and resources is the only thing that will help all the Black babies and youth in the world!”
Of course, some white people, like the family in The Blind Side, feel sorry for minorities when they really just seem down on their luck. But a lot of these white people feel like this to make themselves feel better. I do not want to get down on white people for realizing that minorities are oppressed in many ways, but in so many of these cases, white people victimize the minorities without even considering how that person feels. That in and of itself is oppression. And what happens in this movie, is that this family takes in this African-American teenager and he just becomes soooooo great. All because of this white family.
The other thing that worries me is how this movie is being promoted. Generally, from what I’ve heard, it’s all about how the white family take him in. And how the white family helps him accomplish these football dreams. It seems to be focusing on what this white family is doing more than anything. I haven’t heard about his choices, his capabilities, his initiative, his determination, etc. It’s all about these white saviours.
If you aren’t one to believe that this movie brings up racial issues in the White-Saviour department, I want to ask you this question. Would the film studios ever make a movie where another African-American family “saves” another African-American child or teenager? Think about it, and get back to me!
Also, just want to point you to a much more articulate discussion about this White-Saviourness at Black Youth Project. It’s an awesome read.
Music Hit: Lykke Li
Truth be told, I discovered the wondrous Lykke Li months ago, but she deserves the spotlight! When I discovered her months ago, I realized I had found one of my favourite new artists. The first thing I noticed about Lykke Li was that she uses music in an extremely interesting way. The first song of hers that I had heard was Dance, Dance, Dance, which is pretty much all beat, and it wasn’t the music we’re used to in the traditional sense. It brought around these new, interesting sounds I hadn’t heard much of before.
Alright, I’ll end my tangent. Lykke Li. She’s an indie artist from Sweden, who just released her first album Youth Novels, in 2008. Her album made it to #3 in Sweden and to #8 on the US Heatseekers. As well, her song Possibility is on Twilight’s New Moon soundtrack. She’s definitely been making people take notice of her in the music scene.
Please take a listen to her. She is a breath of fresh air, with her music being compelling and peaking your senses a bit more! Check Lykke Li out at her website or MySpace!
Because I love her so much, I am posting two of her songs! Enjoy!
Dance, Dance, Dance
Acoustic version of I’m Good, I’m Gone featuring Robyn
Update on the Richmond, CA gang rape
This morning, all 6 Richmond, CA gang rape suspects appeared in court. They all pleaded not guilty (eye roll) to their multiple sex related felony charges. Just a reminder, they are all being tried as adults, even though three suspects are 15, 16, and 17.
Here’s a beauty from a friend of one of the defendants:
“As far as with the girl, I’m not saying she is a bad person, but I feel that there had to be something that attracted them if they did it — I don’t know,” said a friend of a defendant Shyan Mason.
Suuuuuure. It had to be HER that attracted them to do it. It of course has to be ALL HER FAULT. Honestly, I’m just going to flat out say that some people are stupid. There, I said it. Anyway, even if she HAD started something with them, the fact that she said NO multiple times means that it’s RAPE. This WAS NOT consensual sex. What don’t people get? Why do people think that even if it’s “the girl’s fault”, that once s he says no, and the sex moves into rape territory, that the perpetrators are any less guilty? Idiots. Sorry, I’m just so sick and tired of people not understanding what the hell rape is.
Click here to read the full news article.
Being Feminist 
What People Are Saying