Douchebag quote of the day!

This is taken from an article about the new possibility of the male birth control pill.

“It is time for men to have some control. I think it would empower men and deter some women out there from their nefarious plans,” says Brown. “Some women are out there to use men to get pregnant. This could deter women from doing this. An athlete or a singer is someone who could be a target and they could put a stop to that.”

Wow. Thanks for that Quentin Brown.

Small rant about the Tiger Woods thing

Unless you’ve been living under a rock (which I wouldn’t necessarily blame you for), you know about Tiger Woods and his million affairs (fine, at least 14) that he’s had over the past few years. But really, he’s just getting such gracious treatment from most media outlets and people. Sure, his popularity has taken a plunge and he’s lost some sponsors, but everytime I hear something about Tiger, it’s never nasty or callous. In fact, Rudy Guliani has just come out and said that Tiger needs to “hang in there” and that he’s a “very, very fine man” and that “we know he’s going to get through it.” Um, sorry, I didn’t realize that he was the one that was going through all the pain and suffering when he really should have understood the consequences of having affairs with at least 14 women!

I mean, that’s just one example. I know a lot of people have seen the SNL skit that portrayed Tiger Woods and his wife, Elin Nordengren. I mean, the domestic violence thing just wasn’t funny at all – even if it was from Elin to Tiger, but what I noticed was that they made Tiger such a sympathetic character. While watching, you were supposed to feel sorry for Tiger because Elin was some crazy bitch who obviously made him have the affairs. It was bad and I was personally not impressed.

So here’s the kicker. Would a woman in the public eye be portrayed in this way in the media if she had 14 affairs on her husband? She absolutely would not! She would not be the sympathetic character, but her husband definitely would be. She would be called a whore, slut, ho and bitch. She might have to fight harder to keep her career, depending on what that was (because we all know that Tiger is going to walk back into golf and people will be soooooo happy). I mean, I just think it’s obvious that a woman would have a harder time. No would would give her the time of day and no one would be gracious to her, or allow her to graciously explain what happened. Yet, Tiger, with his at least 14 affairs, has been able to.

Now, I’m not saying that it’s all good stuff about him in the media, but it’s not nearly as bad as it necessarily should be. But, he’s a man. Since he’s a man, he has the freedom to do more wrongs and will be graciously forgiven. Women on the other hand…no chance in hell.

Being male in the writing realm equates to more success

James Chartrand, of Copyblogger and Mens with Pens, is coming out. As the true woman that she is. James Chartrand, which is a pen name, explains the struggle she was having before she got into the online writing biz. She tells of how she is a single mother, who was on the brink of having to go on welfare and not being able to feed her two daughters. She decided to look online for writing jobs, as she knew she could write well and do it from home. She did this for a good while, under her real name, but it just wasn’t cutting it. She explains that before she took up a male’s pen name, that she would be struggling to get jobs, as well as not receiving the pay she knew some other people were getting. She then decided that she was going to make a pen name for herself, something that would “command respect”. She chose James Chartrand.

Once she did this, she got more jobs. She got more pay. She got compliments. She didn’t have to do many revisions. She states,

Understand, I hadn’t advertised more effectively or used social media — I hadn’t figured that part out yet. I was applying in the same places. I was using the same methods. Even the work was the same.

The exact same work. It was equal by all means, yet, because she now had James as a pen name, everything was better and easier. She explains the positives here:

Taking a man’s name opened up a new world. It helped me earn double and triple the income of my true name, with the same work and service.

No hassles. Higher acceptance. And gratifying respect for my talents and round-the-clock work ethic.

Business opportunities fell into my lap. People asked for my advice, and they thanked me for it, too.

Astounding. If that’s not a slap in the face for women writers, and women in general, I don’t know what is. Most professional women just want to work. They want respect for what they do, because they love what they do and they work hard at it. But still, just because we have vagina’s, we apparently aren’t as good as men. We aren’t as respected. We’re ignored. We’re sexually harassed. We’re discriminated against. Just because we have vagina’s. Really? Does a difference in genitals really make a difference? The clear answer is no, but still today, it is an issue. James talks about this, as she mentions that women writers have been doing this for ages, however, she states that,

Since then, we’ve had feminism. We have the right to vote, to own property, to be members of Parliament and Congress, to get a job, and to be the main breadwinner of the family. And yet apparently we haven’t gotten past those 19th century stigmas.

No, we haven’t gotten past the 19th century stigmas. That’s why feminism still exists today. We need it, and James Chartrand has once again proved that.

Click here to read her post called Why James Chartrand Wears Women’s Underpants, which tells her whole story.

Toyota Yaris commercial pulled in Australia

This Toyota Yaris commercial has been pulled off the air in Australia, because of complaints about sexism and possible slight incest.

Yeah, it’s a little much. And kind of gross and verbally objectifying. Also, everything was being said as if he was going to do it to her, not necessarily with her. Glad it’s off the air!

Thoughts?

Sexism in America: Too normal?

So, yes, of course…sexism in America/North America is definitely normal, and feminists see this and that’s why feminism remains as a movement. However, according to Barbara Berg, a historian and new author of Sexism in America: Alive, Well, and Ruining our Future, says that it’s becoming too normal and that the condition that America is in right now in terms of women’s rights could very well be worse than ever before. Berg surveyed over 200 women, and interviewed 200 more for her recent findings.

The Toronto Star was able to have an interview with her, and I just wanted to point out a few excerpts:

Many of the ways that women go about their lives and men go about their lives are based on premises such as we had seen in the 1950s. A sense of difference over who had power.

Numerous women told me that would not challenge the authority of a male boss, that they were happy to have their jobs, that they felt that they had to accept – and this is very disturbing – a certain amount of sexual harassment, that they did not expect the same kind of promotions, that they were accepting the 70 cents to the dollar gender wage gap. (emphasis mine)

This information is quite disturbing, but not necessarily surprising to someone who really knows what’s happening within the realm of gender relations and gender inequality. Berg goes onto state that this has happened because “there has been a tremendous sense of acceptance of a hierarchical and patriarchal society again” (emphasis mine). And of course, this is utterly disappointing. Because we live in an apparent “post-feminist” society, people are so damn blinded to what is really going on.

Berg ends off the interview with some positivity, by saying that there are so many things that women can do to change this kind of attitude. She states,

Women also have tremendous power as consumers. Don’t buy Bratz Dolls. Don’t buy hypersexualized Halloween costumes. Don’t go to movies that brutalize or demean women. Choose women authors. Make sure that women’s history in the curriculum of your daughter’s school. Lobby your government. Run for office.

It’s a great, great interview. I didn’t even really cover even just a bit of it, so please head on over to the Toronto Star and read this amazing interview! She talks about everything from pop culture, to reproductive rights. Berg really has some great insights on what’s going on in our culture today and why it’s going on.

Houston, TX elects an open lesbian mayor!

Go, Houston! Annise Parker is going to be the new mayor of Houston as of January 1st, and is an out lesbian.

Parker has never made her sexuality to be a secret, and “it became the focus of the election race after anti-gay activists and conservative religious groups endorsed Locke and sent out mailers condemning Parker’s “homosexual behavior.” Ick. Luckily, these efforts didn’t change the ultimate support that Parker had.

This is one great win for the LGBTQ community in Houston, but also the rest of the country. Awesome!

Apology!

Hey Being Feminist readers! I just want to give a big apology for not updating as much as usually do! This past week I was sick and had two exams…so you can imagine the lack of time I had!

I’m now done all my school for the holidays, so I will get back to normal posting on Monday!

Uganda’s Anti-Homosexuality Bill

I cannot even express in words how much shock and anger came upon me when I heard about this extremely disgusting, homophobic bill proposal. RH Reality Check explains,

The bill proposes a seven-year jail term for anyone who “attempts to commit the offence” or who “aids, abets, counsels or procures another to engage in acts of homosexuality.” Under the proposed law, “promotion of homosexuality,” including publishing information or providing funds, premises for activities, or other resources, is also punishable by a seven-year sentence or a fine of US$50,000. The bill seeks to apply the death penalty handed down for the crime of “aggravated homosexuality,” defined as a sexual assault committed against a member of the same sex who is under 18 or disabled. An HIV test would be forced upon anyone found guilt of the offense of “homosexuality.”

No one in their right mind would think this would pass, correct? Well, many gay rights activists in Uganda are saying that this is something that most likely will pass. David Cato, a gay rights activist in Uganda, says that there has been more of a gay rights movement in Uganda lately, which means that these laws are being put into place.

“It’s a question of visibility,” said David Cato, who became an activist after he was beaten up four times, arrested twice, fired from his teaching job and outed in the press because he is gay. “When we come out and ask for our rights, they pass laws against us.”

I for one sincerely hope that this bill does not get passed. There is a lot of international pressure on Uganda right now because of this bill, but only time will tell if this pressure will influence Uganda in any way.

Food for thought!

I have been so busy, and will remain busy all weekend until Monday, which means I can’t post! So instead, I’m putting up lots of interesting links for you to go to and mull over! Hope everyone has a great weekend!

Can women learn something from the gay rights movement?

Hm. Surprise, surprise. Rush Limbaugh thinks that people in poverty “don’t deserve healthcare”. You make me sick, Rush. Sick.

One story about a family’s difficult decision to have an abortion, while being a part of the Catholic Church. (They went to Dr. Tiller’s, by the way – there are some great things said about him.)

The Women’s Health Amendment was passed!

Operation Rescue (“pro-life” activist group) have a new target in Dr. Leroy Carhart.

Rosie the Riveter High, in Long Beach, CA is making some serious efforts to teach their female students the trades.

Finally, this Sunday, December 6th, marks the 20th anniversary of the Montreal Massacre, where the men were told to leave the room, while 14 women were murdered, just because they were women. Read the basic facts here.

Oh, New York…why not legalize same-sex marriage?

This came to be rather shocking for me. I guess I always figured that New York would be one of those states that would legalize same-sex marriage. I was, however, wrong.

Today, the Senate voted down a bill that would legalize same-sex marriage, with the vote of 38-24. Eek. We can’t forget that there are 30 Republicans and 32 Democrats in the New York State Senate, so that could have something to with it as well. But clearly, some of those Dems voted against this bill to be passed.

The Catholic Church is of course rejoicing, and I am continuing to find more reasons to dislike this institution so much. However, it is so refreshing to hear what Senator Eric Adams, a Brooklyn Democrat, who considers himself to be a man of faith, said: “When I walk through these doors, my Bible stays out,”. That is music to my ears. Absolute music to my ears. He gets it. So many religious people think that they need to bring their personal religious beliefs into government and law, but in fact, it’s the other way around. As a pastor’s kid and person who is still practicing my faith, this is something that I have discovered slowly, but surely. Now, if only more people of faith (or here, I could probably use the more staunch “religious” term) could see this, understand this and demonstrate it in their own lives.

Meredith Baxter, of ‘Family Ties’, comes out

The 62 year old Meredith Baxter revealed this morning on Today, that she is a lesbian. She said that this is a later in life realization, which she only truly recognized when she started dating a woman seven years ago.

“I got involved with someone I never expected to get involved with, and it was that kind of awakening,” she said. “I never fought it because it was like, oh, I understand why I had the issues I had early in life. I had a great deal of difficulty connecting with men in relationships.”

She has now been with her partner, Nancy Locke, for four years. She decided to come out, even though she said that she lives a very private life, because she didn’t want her partner to be pushed “back into secrecy”. She said they live their lives out daily in a comfortable way in Los Angeles.

Click here to read more.

A White-Saviour movie: The Blind Side

I really couldn’t resist putting that picture up instead of the movie poster…I think it just makes my point come across better!

So anyway, by now, if you watch any TV, you have probably seen the advertisements for The Blind Side. I rarely watch TV and I have seen it a million times over. At first, I thought it looked like this wonderful, heartwarming, based on a true story type movie. However, the more I saw the previews for it, the more worried I got about this movie. I haven’t seen this movie, so I can’t speak on everything…but it just kind of irks me the wrong way.

I definitely have racial issues with this movie. I know it’s based on a true story, but I don’t really care. The fact remains that someone thought that this particular story was compelling enough to re-tell. But why was it compelling to re-tell? I absolutely have no doubt that this reason has to do with the fact that a white family is “saving” an African-American teenage boy. People think that this kind of shit is great. They eat this up. Because, “Ohhhh…that poor Black child! We need to help them! They can’t do anything themselves! There’s no hope for them! Our white privilege and resources is the only thing that will help all the Black babies and youth in the world!”

Of course, some white people, like the family in The Blind Side, feel sorry for minorities when they really just seem down on their luck. But a lot of these white people feel like this to make themselves feel better. I do not want to get down on white people for realizing that minorities are oppressed in many ways, but in so many of these cases, white people victimize the minorities without even considering how that person feels. That in and of itself is oppression. And what happens in this movie, is that this family takes in this African-American teenager and he just becomes soooooo great. All because of this white family.

The other thing that worries me is how this movie is being promoted. Generally, from what I’ve heard, it’s all about how the white family take him in. And how the white family helps him accomplish these football dreams. It seems to be focusing on what this white family is doing more than anything. I haven’t heard about his choices, his capabilities, his initiative, his determination, etc. It’s all about these white saviours.

If you aren’t one to believe that this movie brings up racial issues in the White-Saviour department, I want to ask you this question. Would the film studios ever make a movie where another African-American family “saves” another African-American child or teenager? Think about it, and get back to me!

Also, just want to point you to a much more articulate discussion about this White-Saviourness at Black Youth Project. It’s an awesome read.

Music Hit: Lykke Li

Truth be told, I discovered the wondrous Lykke Li months ago, but she deserves the spotlight! When I discovered her months ago, I realized I had found one of my favourite new artists. The first thing I noticed about Lykke Li was that she uses music in an extremely interesting way. The first song of hers that I had heard was Dance, Dance, Dance, which is pretty much all beat, and it wasn’t the music we’re used to in the traditional sense. It brought around these new, interesting sounds I hadn’t heard much of before.

Alright, I’ll end my tangent. Lykke Li. She’s an indie artist from Sweden, who just released her first album Youth Novels, in 2008. Her album made it to #3 in Sweden and to #8 on the US Heatseekers. As well, her song Possibility is on Twilight’s New Moon soundtrack. She’s definitely been making people take notice of her in the music scene.

Please take a listen to her. She is a breath of fresh air, with her music being compelling and peaking your senses a bit more! Check Lykke Li out at her website or MySpace!

Because I love her so much, I am posting two of her songs! Enjoy!

Dance, Dance, Dance

Acoustic version of I’m Good, I’m Gone featuring Robyn

Update on the Richmond, CA gang rape

This morning, all 6 Richmond, CA gang rape suspects appeared in court. They all pleaded not guilty (eye roll) to their multiple sex related felony charges. Just a reminder, they are all being tried as adults, even though three suspects are 15, 16, and 17.

Here’s a beauty from a friend of one of the defendants:

“As far as with the girl, I’m not saying she is a bad person, but I feel that there had to be something that attracted them if they did it — I don’t know,” said a friend of a defendant Shyan Mason.

Suuuuuure. It had to be HER that attracted them to do it. It of course has to be ALL HER FAULT. Honestly, I’m just going to flat out say that some people are stupid. There, I said it. Anyway, even if she HAD started something with them, the fact that she said NO multiple times means that it’s RAPE. This WAS NOT consensual sex. What don’t people get? Why do people think that even if it’s “the girl’s fault”, that once s he says no, and the sex moves into rape territory, that the perpetrators are any less guilty? Idiots. Sorry, I’m just so sick and tired of people not understanding what the hell rape is.

Click here to read the full news article.

Post-feminist age? Probably not.

I just came across this wonderful opinion column from Julie Block. It’s entitled Where’s My Post-Feminist Manifesto?

She creates a compelling narrative about growing up girl, performing gender, the polarizing demands on women and girls…and if we truly are in a post-feminist age. The most compelling question is the one she concludes with.

But I have to ask: If feminism is unnecessary, then why are people still afraid of being called feminists

Check it out. It’s definitely worth the read. Click here for the piece.

AIDS and Gender

With the recent finding that HIV/AIDS is the biggest killer among women in their reproductive age, we know that there are some serious issues that need to be looked at in terms of this disease and gender.

We know that for most women (an estimated 98% of all women affected by HIV/AIDS live in developing countries), treatment, prevention and ultimately, equality, are things that they do not have access too. Let’s talk about gender inequality for a moment, shall we? Gender norms are a part of this inequality and accounts for much of the spreading of this disease. UNAIDS states,

Gender norms, for example, often dictate that women and girls should be ignorant and passive about sex, leaving them unable to negotiate safer sex or access appropriate services. Gender norms in many societies also reinforce a belief that men should seek multiple sexual partners, take risks and be self-reliant.

And let’s not forget, they also mention how in in many cultures, violence against women is condoned. So looking at the gender norms of men, it’s apparent that women automatically become more vulnerable to HIV/AIDS. These uber masculine gender norms continue to hurt women in many ways, but especially in this area. And of course, when women and girls are supposed to be “passive” towards men about sex, it doesn’t prevent the spreading of HIV/AIDS. A way to hurdle this is to of course promote gender equality, empower women to know more about their bodies and sex, and teach men that these norms aren’t good for women, or themselves. And of course we can’t forget, if there is going to be consensual sex, use a condom!

The WHO talks about another issue that comes up with gender norms. They call it “gender-related barriers” for services, or treatment.

Women may face barriers due to their lack of access to and control over resources, child-care responsibilities, restricted mobility and limited decision-making power.

Socialization of men may mean that they will not seek HIV services due to a fear of stigma and discrimination, losing their jobs and of being perceived as “weak” or “unmanly”.

How true. For women of course, it appears that they are not in control of the decision to go seek out services or treatments. How horrible, but true. Women once against face the brunt of this disease, because of their lack of options. Men on the other hand probably do have much more access to services or treatment, but because of their societal gender norms, they refuse to get treatment. This hurts men. This hurts men a lot. Any cultural idea of what hegemonic masculinity should look like, usually hurts men and it can be seen here that men also pay the price.

I’m not going to sit back here and think I know the solution to all of this. I don’t think anyone actually does; and even if they do, solutions are a very hard thing to put in place and people will still continue to live with HIV/AIDS and die from it. However, I do say that promoting gender equality is a must (it’s a must anyway, but I digress). Through promoting gender equality, women and girls will have more rights, as well as have an understanding about their bodies and understand that consensual sex is where it’s at. Now, I’m not saying that women and girls always have the choice of consensual sex. A lot of times they don’t. But for them to know that that is what kind of sex should be happening, is a must.

Women and girls do unfortunately bare the greater responsibility and consequences of sex many, many times. After all, we are the ones that get pregnant and we are the ones that are more vulnerable to STIs. It shouldn’t be our complete responsibility, however, it sometimes ends up like that. Women and girls must be educated about safe sex and the possibility of HIV/AIDS. Many women and girls are in the dark about this because they have not had access to this kind of education. Of course, this still will not prevent HIV/AIDS, because some men will insist that no condom be used.

And this brings me right back around to promoting gender equality. When women are able to make decisions and choices about their bodies and sex, we will see a decrease in HIV/AIDS, in both women and men.

If you want to read more about AIDS and gender, visit AVERT.

World AIDS Day

Today, December 1st, is World AIDS Day. Today we need to talk about AIDS. We need to encourage dialogue about it. We need to debunk myths. We need to get the facts straight. We need to support those who do have HIV/AIDS. We need to fight against AIDS prejudice.

The stats, courtesy of UNAIDS:

There are 33.4 million people living with HIV worldwide.
Out of that, 15.7 million of these are women.
In 2008, 2.7 million people got HIV.
In the same year, 2 million people died in HIV-related deaths.

These statistics clearly show that this is a huge issue. However, it’s not something that has exactly been dealt with properly. Watch this video talking about treatment, prevention and action for HIV/AIDS from AVERT.

Violence against women has doubled on TV

Apparently, violence against women has doubled on TV within the last 5 years. This is kind of worrisome, isn’t it? What may even be more worrying is that there is increasing violence against teenage girls. Hmm…I wonder what this says the people (especially men/teenage boys) that are watching? The article explains:

For years, media critics have described television as a cultural legitimizer. At some point, what is seen on television becomes normative. Studies consistently show that media consumers who view televised violence become desensitized to it. This trend is particularly evident for younger viewers.(emphasis mine)

However, no one seems to be concerned about this. TV Watch, a lobbying organization funded by big media corporations, isn’t taking any responsibility for this and says that these stories “provide cautionary lessons”. Suuuuure. Truthfully, some people might take it as a “cautionary lesson”, but you can’t rely on all people to view things that way. It is true that we become very desensitized to things we see on a regular basis. Even as a feminist, I catch myself missing a lot of sexist things, because I’ve been watching or hearing these things my whole life. To view these things as actual wrong actions, we need to learn de-socialize ourselves. But first, we must realize that we even need that de-socialization.

If this is something you are concerned about, please contact the major broadcasting corporations. Click here for ABC, CBS and NBC (the worst of them all!)

Masculinity in Disney films

I hope everyone had a wonderful weekend, especially for the Americans that celebrated Thanksgiving this past weekend!

We all know about Disney films and how awful they are in terms of sexism. However, most of the conversation I see about Disney films is about how this affects females (rightfully so), but there does need to be conversation about how Disney films affects little boys that watch them. This video below describes the pervasive strength, sexism, and dominance that encompasses most, if not all Disney films. Great little video!

A friend helps organize victim’s gang rape?

Police are looking into a gang rape right now, which occurred last Monday in Monroeville, Alabama. There are two girls, and three boys/men involved. One girl being the one who was raped, while the other girl, who was a friend, possibly being the organizer of this gang rape. The three boys/men are 16, 17 and 20. They are being held on charges of felony rape.

When the investigation began, the girl who possibly organized this crime, told police that she and her classmate were planning on having consensual sex with all three of these boys/men. However, now she is being considered to be a part of this organized crime.

The actually victim of the rape did tell the police that it was supposed to be consensual at the beginning, and she felt that it was. However, soon after things started, she repeatedly said no, and yet no one stopped. All three took turns raping her. The other girl, who said that the boys/men tried to rape her, but “nothing happen”.

The victim had severe injuries and had to spend about 3 days in the ICU. Horrible, just horrible and disgusting.

Now what I’m hoping for this case is that it all of a sudden doesn’t become a “let’s blame the girl!” kind of thing. If she had anything to do with the planned rape, then yes, she should be punished. However, I just hope that three boys/men involved won’t be ignored. They are the ones that still chose to do this to a girl. It’s not like they didn’t know what they were doing.

What a discouraging story…especially after the horrific gang rape in Richmond, CA.